*sigh*

Today was the funeral for Daly's grandmother. I went to it.
It was horribly sad. I nearly cried. I definitely was on the verge of it.
When I talked to Daly, he looked so sad. He sounded so sad. After the funeral service, his voice kept cracking.
It made me so sad..
So I hugged him.
Which would be the first time we've hugged, by the way.
I stood by him until he and his family left to go home.
Then I went to Taekwondo. I was only two minutes late. It worked out fine.
Wednesday I get tested for my high white belt.
Oh, and I got a papasan chair today.
It was in the Classifieds for $20, and I had just been thinking about getting one, so I jumped on that opportunity and bought it. Quite a deal, I must say.
This evening I rearranged my room completely and found a good place for that 55 gallon aquarium Troy gave me.
I just finished my Spanish homework. In the nick of time, really.
And now I am sitting here, writing this blog, while Fezzik chirps about who knows what.
Despereaux is looking for my camera to steal more beads.
Windy and Sim are being hyper and eating seeds.
I think I may go to sleep quite soon.
Sleep is chasing me.

I feel like crying...

Daly's Grandmother died Saturday morning at about 3:30am. It's not like we weren't expecting it.
She had stage four pancreatic cancer and just had a stroke two weeks ago.
She was doing fairly well, considering, until Monday. Everything started going downhill.
And now she's gone.
And Daly is having such a hard time.
I feel so sad for him. I know there's no way I could know his sadness. And I really don't want to have to know it.
But I feel sad.
I don't really feel happy.
Not at all.
It horrible.
Not an ounce of happiness.
I don't think I'll feel better until Daly feels better.
It's as if our emotions are connected..
When I'm sad, he is sad.
When he is having an extremely difficult time, I find myself having an extremely difficult time.
I thought about emptying my happy wagon.
I may soon.
Right now it's at 6.
6 in.
6 rocks of happines.
Happiness that I don't feel.
I don't doubt that Daly has none or very little in his own happy wagon.
I fear none.
I have never had none in.
I don't think Daly has either, unless he does now.
I feel so sad for him...
*sigh*
The wake is going on right now.
I wanted to go. To be with him and try to comfort him.
But I have a stupid essay I'm writing that's due tomorrow...
And I want to go to the funeral tomorrow. But I have Taekwondo.
I would indefinitely skip, if it weren't for the fact that some of my family members also take that class.. They want me to go to class.
Daly won't come to Taekwondo.
I know he won't.
I knew he wouldn't even before he said he didn't want to.
He may not even come to school tomorrow at all.
If he does, I will do everything in my ability to cheer him up.
If he doesn't.... I have an idea. I will make a video and title it "Star's Search for Daly."
And I'll send it to him.
I am trying to come up with ideas and devise plans to make him feel better.
Every little bit helps.
*sigh*
It really makes me sad to see him like this.
It's horrible.

I had better keep writing that essay... After all, it is due tomorrow.
*sigh*

*sigh* <-- that's a happy sigh.

Yesterday was my birthday.
The day before that was St. Patrick's Day. I found two four leafed clovers. One I pressed in a book. The other I made a mini letter for Daly out of.

My birthday was the best birthday I've ever had.
I think Daly had a lot to do with it.
He is my best friend. I think best friends make birthdays 100 times better.
I have not had a birthday like this... in so long, if ever before.
It started out with my Mom waking me with singing the birthday song. I checked my phone. Daly had texted me at 12:35am wishing me happy birthday(that is when I was born) and Troy had texted me just 30 minutes before I woke to wish me happy birthday.
I texted them both back and went on with my morning.
Went to school. Got there almost before Daly.
Amy wasn't in Spanish.
Daly and I raced to get tea before Matthew came into the Student Center.
We ran out to the back of campus where the parking lots are.
We ended up adventuring in the woods.
I scraped my foot on a RUSTY (emphasis because of Daly..) piece of metal. It broke the skin. Daly made a big deal about it bleeding.
I have survived, though.
After only adventuring a short ways, we had to turn back because class would start soon. First we went to Daly's car to get my birthday gift. I ended up leaving it in his car during my class (it would've attracted attention since I would've had no place to put it except on the table during class).
Amy wished me happy birthday before Literature class.
Daly and I went back out to his car before Grandma came to pick me up. I did not open the gift, for lack of time.
Grandma came. I ate at La Dolce Vita with her. She gave me a card with $20 in it and took me to Walmart. I bought a pair of pants, a pair of capris, some black thread, two packets of seeds (for Daly's secret garden), and some beads for my hair.
I went to Taekwondo. Master Vincent's birthday is tomorrow. We brought him some balloons yesterday.
After Taekwondo, I went home, did some homework, went to youthgroup (brought the gift with me (I planned to open it in front of Daly, since he gave it to me and whatnot)). Ended up forgetting to open it.
Got a mouse.
Wee baby mouse.
So cute.
I need a name.
Something small, female, and pretty.
Unique, too.
Daly got a mouse, too.
To replace Pocket Mouse so his parents don't find out that she died.
*sigh*
But yes.
The kids at youthgroup sang happy birthday to me.
I went home (with gift and mouse).
Texted Daly that I was going to open his gift.
I did.
Guess what was inside.
A cardboard box.
Yes.
Guess what was in that?
Another box.
Yes.
BUT IT IS A SPECIAL BOX.
It is made of wood. Made by Daly. It is beautiful. On the top is has our mini letter insigna thing. With the star and the D as the seal for a letter.
It's beautiful.
And inside...
There was a card.
Handmade card.
I opened it and it had numerous little sketches of various memories Daly and I have shared. Everything from the first day at CCCC, things that happened with Mr. Stumpf, Taekwondo, and our Duel of the Immortals (really just an arm wrestle which he won 2 out of 3 (and incidentally, we plan to arm wrestle again tomorrow!)).
Underneath the card there were...
6 boxes of Tazo tea!
All six were the assorted kind (he asked me about a month ago what my favorite teas are, and I told him "I don't know..." so he got assorted, I'm assuming. Haha.)
So now I have 12 tea bags of 20 kinds of tea!
Three of them I REALLY like. I hadn't remembered those when he asked me. But it's all good because I have them all, now.
It is an amazing gift. It really is.
Oh! He also paid the $2 for my mouse. That was nice of him, I think.
He also says he's going to get me the Yanni CD that I've been wanting. But he is ordering it online, so it won't come for a few days.

The whole day was... wonderful.
My happy wagon.
It is full.
100%
Happiness.
It's never been like that before.
But I've finally been able to put the rock Daly gave me in the basket.
(I told him it was the 20th rock and that it would go in only when I was 100% happy.)

So it has been a very nice past two days.

Today wasn't so bad either.
My happy wagon is stable.
So that's a good sign.

I think I will sleep now, though.
Early day tomorrow.

St. Patrick's Day? Yes.

Aye, so my internet's been working on and off the past few days.
I had a midterm today in Human Values.
Finished early and went down to the Student Center with Daly and got a sub and two cookies.

I should clean now.
Or do homework.
I need to do both, really.
My wallet is bare (aside from the $5 I found in my pocket this morning!) and my savings are going down.
I need a job.
*sigh*


Tomorrow's muh birthday!
I'm getting a mouse.
So is Daly.
It is happy.
I'm excited.

Aye Aye, Captain.

Okay, I feel a little bad.
I haven't written anything in a few days and I've really been slacking off with stuff (pertaining to my blog and Facebook, anyhow).

But here's a little update!
I *may* get a mouse on Wednesday...
*May*.
See, well, I very well may be getting one (without the *may*) because well...
Yes.
I will get one.
My parents won't know about it (me Mum doesn't like mice).
It will be a secret mouse.
Like my secret hamster.
Yes.

Soon, Amy's baby hamsters will be big enough to give away...
I know what you're thinking.
But NO, I will ask about this.
I want two female hamsters.
I have a cage set up already and everything.

Speaking of animals, Fezzik eats out of my hand and has actually stood on my hand!
So that's neat.
I didn't know finches would get that tame...

And Troy will be giving me Wasabi on Saturday, along with his 55 gallon aquarium and all the accessories (by the way, Wasabi is an aquatic turtle that is 4 years old).

Oh! My birthday is on Wednesday!
It is kind of exciting.


I need to think of names....

Ah, yes.

So I've made an icubator.
And I have a chicken egg.
I've placed the chicken egg in the incubator.
And in 21 days, I may very well have a little baby chicken.



By the way, my "L" key won't work very well.... I'm having to bang it to get it to type!

Back for keeps?

I think I *may*
Just maybe
Be back.
For real.
For serious.
I know you've missed me.
I'VE missed me.
And it is good to be [potentially] back.
Really.
It truly is.
I went from 5 rocks to 13.
Two things happened to cause that.
1. Yo tengo una nueva gerbil!
2. My shoulder bag came in the mail.

Okay, details on number one:
I went to a pet store today.
They had gerbils.
I asked how old they were.
"Oh, about a year old."
"A year old?"
"Yes."
"Do you have any young ones?"
"No... well, actually, let me check in the back. Hey [insert name that has escaped my memory here]! Have we got any wee baby gerbils? Little babies?"
*faraway voice*
"Okay, I'm going to go look."
So I watched as the lady went through a door to the back of the store. I peeked through a window and saw that there were many cages lined up against the wall on shelves, housing mice, gerbils, and hamsters.
*door opens again*
"Yeah, we've got some little babies."
"Oh really?? How old are they?"
"They JUST started eating solid food."
"Are they still too young to tell the gender?"
"Yes, like I said, they JUST started eating hard foods."
"Okay, good." I laughed. There was a slight awkward silence before I said, "So, can I see them?"
"Oh, sure."
She led me through the door to the room I had seen from the window.
In a glass aquarium sitting on a wooden table, there were about 15 small white gerbils, running around with their mother.
So small...
So cute...
"I'll take one." As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I thought, 'I could take two...' but then thought about how Mom might feel. For one, they are white gerbils. Albino. Red eyes. For another thing, she granted permission for ONE; she said nothing of two.
So I decided to just stick with my words and buy one.
Their mice were only $1.79....
*sigh*
Not even going to consider that (though I really do want a mouse...)
So I watched as the lady got a little box (they seem to be at every pet store..) and stuck it in the aquarium. While the majority of gerbils ran away from the strange object descending from heaven, there was one that just stood there for a few moments, looking up at it. When the box was gently set down in the aquarium, the wee baby gerbil sniffed the air then stepped toward the box.
Yes.
That is the one.
I want that one.
The lady scooped it up into the box and closed the top before handing it to me.
I listened to the little feet scratching against the cardboard.
We walked to the front of the store where I paid for the little gerbil.
$5.00-something.
MUCH less expensive than what they sell gerbils for at Town and Country (though I do love that place).
So that gave me 6 rocks, bringing my Happy Wagon up to 11 rocks.
Which is good... but still slightly not-good. I mean, I was averaging 15 rocks the past few months!

So then the second thing to happen..
My shoulder bag.
It is wonderful.
I ordered it on Friday.
It came on Monday, today.
Now unless it was shipped from somewhere terribly close, I don't think things are supposed to come that quickly...
I'm not sure where it was shipped from, so I'm just saying God sent it along faster, 'cause he knew I needed something else to cheer me.
When I got it, I added 2 rocks. Total of 13 in the "Wagon" (it is technically a basket...)

Now, I did take one out, because Daly found out that his Grandma has stage 4 pancreatic cancer.
Back to 12.
(I suggested the Wolfe Clinic treatment stuff to him.)

So yes.
That was my day.
It went fairly well.
Probably the best day I've had in two weeks.
It feels good.

No title.

The day before yesterday was a good day.
Yesterday was a good, mostly bad day.
Today has not been the best of days either.
*sigh*
Why can't I get out of this?

...

This was one of those days that was nice and not-nice.
So now, at the end of the day, I haven't taken any rocks out or put any in.
But it is three above what it was yesterday.
So that is good, at least.

And.....

Back down to 4 rocks.

I can't think of a title for this.

Youthgroup made me feel a little better.
I added one rock.

I've been left to my thoughts too much today..

I feel absolutely horrid.
I went to Taekwondo. We practiced our roundhouse kicks. Master Vincent gave me compliments. Oh, and I managed 30 crunches.
First time I've been able to do it there (I can do it at my house, for some reason.. just not there).
But I do not feel happy or accomplished.
Those things mean nothing.

Right now, my happy wagon is at a record low.
Four rocks in.
*sigh*

Why does it all happen at once?

Pocket Mouse died today.
I don't know how or why.
I was driving to school with her in my shirt pocket. On the way there, I felt her move around a bit.
When I got there, I stuck my hand in the pocket to take her out and show Daly (her breathing had improved since yesterday), only to find that... she wasn't moving.
She was still warm.
But not moving.
I don't know what happened.
But I feel really, really bad.
I feel like I can't take care of animals without them dying...
Daly pointed out, "But look at all the other animals you have. They've done fine."
He also said about Pocket Mouse, "Maybe it's for the better. She hasn't really been acting right the past few months.."
That was before my first class.
What does one do with a dead mouse during class?
Well, we went to Daly's car and put her in the jar she had been brought to school in yesterday.
We left her there until our hour break.
We took her into the woods and buried her under a tree, piling nice stones on top of the dirt.
*sigh*
I am sad.
Would she have died if Daly hadn't let me take care of her?

Pocket Mouse!

I am taking care of Pocket Mouse until Thursday!!!
It makes me so happy!
I've really missed her.

So here's the thing...
Pocket Mouse is a mouse.
Despereaux is a dwarf hamster.
They are in the same cage.
No fighting.
They slept side by side earlier.

So why do people always say that hamsters and mice will kill each other??
I even looked it up on the internet. I did read of a few instances where dwarf hamsters and mice got along.
But about 95% of everything I read was negative to the idea.

So I don't know.


Today was a pretty good day.
Daly and I went everywhere, just about.
Had tea. You could've guessed that.
But towards the end of the time I was at CCCC, we were walking down where the drainage ditches are and Daly noticed some wallet-looking things poking out of the leaves.
Turns out, they were wallets indeed. Three of them.
All the money gone.
Driver's licenses and student identifications were still in there.
All the wallets belonged to African-American males under 21.
Dodgy.
Very much.

So we ran to get a security guard (we first looked for the New Zealand lady, but resorted to Rocky when we couldn't find her) and showed him the wallets. Soon after that, my Dad came to pick me up.
So it was an eventful day.
Daly later said, "I think we will always be able to find adventure."

Yes.


Today was a much easier day so far as homework goes...
I didn't really have any to do.
So I caught up in a few things, like my Bible reading.
I'm in Joshua now, by the way.



I think I'll bring Pocket Mouse AND Despereaux to school tomorrow.
Two reasons:
1. They should stay together (I don't want them forgetting that they like each other).
2. They are both hiding animals (hiding from my Mom).
3. Well, I WANT to bring them.

So yes. I shall bring them.

Tomorrow is a hiding day. Anti-Matthew, in other words.
We have a creek to follow and adventure!
I wonder if 55 minutes will be enough...

Half Snow Day!

It feels so good to be writing again...

Wow, I have not blogged in a few days...
I've been so busy, so many things have been happening this past week.

Let's start with my Literature test and essay grades.
Test: 87
Essay: 93
(He said the 87 was good; most of the class scored MUCH lower than that).

And an update on Fezzik: He is doing quite well in his new home. However, he seems to enjoy throwing seeds everywhere (especially when I sneeze (by the way, I have caught a sort of cold... It is going away currently, though)). Yesterday, I sneezed and it scared him while he was eating, so he (accidentally) threw seeds in my yogurt. *sigh*

Update on me: I made a shirt out of a bedsheet I got at Walmart for $2. I have a cold. I have been drinking SO much hot tea lately. Speaking of which, my most recent cup of tea has gotten cold...
In Taekwondo, I've gotten some encouraging words from Master Vincent. Makes me happy.

Oh, and Kettricken... she has... well, she died.
After I bought a heat lamp for her (she kept getting cold) and tried to take extra care for her.
*sigh*
She died anyway.
That happened today, by the way.
So now I have two empty cages... And only one furry animal.
Despereaux.
Who is currently running on a sideways wheel on my desk.
*sigh* He is not allowed to die. No.

Speaking of death, Troy's Mom's boyfriend's brother died today.
Troy never met the fellow.
But Larry (the boyfriend guy) and his Mom were going to go up to Ohio for the funeral and whatnot.
Troy was going to stay at my house. For about a week.
We had everything figured out.
Then, Troy tells me there might not even BE a funeral (sounds dodgy, doesn't it?), in which case, only Larry would go up there. Which means Troy wouldn't come over here.
But I want Troy to come here! It would be so neat!
I won't know anything for sure until tomorrow, probably...

Update on Daly: he is doing well. He came to church with us on Sunday, which was quite enjoyable. He met Fezzik, saw my new room, and held one of our cats before his parents picked him up from our house afterward.
But this afternoon... his grandmother had a stroke.
Thankfully, the people she was with got her to a hospital very quickly and right now, she seems stable and is able to talk and such. She should be going home tomorrow.
Poor Daly, he's had a rough night.


I finished my online Spanish homework in the nick of time. It is due in a little over an hour, and I just finished it before I started typing this blog.

Speaking of Spanish, we didn't have class today.
You know why?
Because it snowed!
Which gave CCCC a 2 hour delay (all my county's schools were closed).
2 hour delay means no Spanish class, which is actually kind of unhappy because I do not like the make-up work my teacher gives...
I did go to Literature, though. We talked about poems. I love poetry! I also got my essay back today. He marked all over my paper... But regardless of that, I got a pretty good grade, so I'm happy.

But regardless of that... my happy wagon is not doing so well.
I've only got 5 in. Last time this happened was when Dormir died.
But this time, it is not all because of an animal's death. Kettricken did have me taking a good few out, but what got it all the way down to 5 was Daly's grandmother having a stroke and Troy's family's dilemma.
But now that Daly's grandmother is improving and seems to be all right, I think I will add two rocks.
So now we're at 7.
Which is better... But still VERY low.


Oh, I've decided something, so far as algebra II and chemistry goes.
I will not worry about it.
I will do it when I can.
If I can't, fine.
I will work on it over the summer before next semester.
Sounds like a plan, huh?

Something else concerning Troy....
He is giving away his turtles.
He gave away 4 of them on Saturday.
He's got two left, now. Wasabi, the turtle he's had for 4 years now, and a female (I don't remember her name..).
When spring comes, he will let the female go.
He doesn't know what to do with Wasabi.
He also is going to get rid of his 55 gallon tank, the heaters, equipment, and whatnot.
He offered it all to me.
And while he was at it, he said if I wanted, he could give Wasabi to me. He says I'm his #1 most trusted person.
I said yes, I'd take him. And the aquarium and equipment.
I've talked with my Dad about it a bit. He seems fine with it.
I'll mention it to my Mom later.
A 55 gallon aquarium is rather large... But I bet I could put it on my mirror desk. Also! It would free up my little 10 gallon aquarium for another animal (probably the hermit crabs). I'm sure they would like that.


So there are many things going on, still, even though the worst is behind me.
Oh, by the way, I'm skipping Human Values class tomorrow. We're watching a movie.
Remember the Titans.
I don't want to see it.
So Daly and I will skip class and spend the 1 1/4 hour adventuring someplace, no doubt.
That should be nice.

I have not told Daly about Kettricken yet.
Too much has been going on.
But I did post a bulletin on MySpace saying the status of my happy wagon.
When he notices that, he'll ask what happened. I will tell him then.